miguelofthedark:

You know you’re a lesbian when: You put your finger in it instead.

What if I did both??

(Source: lmaogtfo)

(Source: femaleboner)

femaleboner:

yes.

pure fucking genius

(Source: femaleboner)

giggles

now hi5!

1. Trojans: You can’t go wrong here. This is probably the most recognized brand. They are not the cheapest condoms & definitely not generic. This condom says to the vagina, ”Hey I have a job.” This also says this man probably does a little maintenance to his area, which is ideal.

2. Durex: These condoms say, ”I’m a cheap bastard.” Durex, Come on! The packaging alone says it all. A man who brings Durex to fuck is probably a man who also wants to split the check at dinner. Ladies, never let a Durex condom be inside you. 

3. Lifestyles: This condom brand says, ”Hey i’m in high school & got these from my guidance counselor.” In which case, do not sleep w/ this man because you can possibly go to jail. Lifestyles are generally used by younger dudes & you want to sleep w/ a man not a boy.

4. Crown: This type of condom says, “Hey, i’m ghetto.” A man who uses Crown condoms probably also wears a Du-rag & is 2months late on his Chrysler 300 car payment. Avoid Crown condoms.

5. Flavored Condoms: Like, okay if your in a long-term relationship & you want to spice up your sex life then whatthefuckever but if I barely know you & you bring flavored condoms then getthefuckouttahere. Like, we eat w/ this mouth, you can’t just assume I will do that. Unless the bill at dinner was over $150 then keep your flavored condoms to yourself.

6. Female Condoms: I don’t even know the scientific name but unless you are a bitch made nigga a woman should never provide the condoms. Like, i’m letting you fuck ME, not the other way around. (Also, a woman should never pay for the condoms.)

7. XTRA LG Condoms: If you bring these you better have the required equipment. 

8. Super Lubricated Condoms: I don’t even know why this category exists. If you need these then as a man you’ve failed. That’s your job not the condoms.

H-O-R-N-Y

We all know where my mind is don’t we “P